Too Little Too Late
How often have we heard the phrase ‘you don’t know what you had until you lost it’?
Unfortunately this is all too often true. Someone dies unexpectedly, a friend moves suddenly to another town, the company we work for gets down sized and we lose our job...so many things in life can change fast and in the blink of an eye we find ourselves lost, looking back on what we had and wishing we could have it back, wishing for how things used to be.
How often do we hear the phrase ‘live for today - for tomorrow may never come’, and how many times do we do just the opposite, worrying about the future, planning for the year, or for a retirement that so many never get to enjoy because they don’t live long enough?
It would be impossible for most of us not to plan, at least for the day, and life would be too hard if we worried too much about what or who we might lose tomorrow, but shouldn’t we at least try to value what we have today, to appreciate...and to show our appreciation for all that is good and worthwhile in our lives.
So often people appreciate and value something or someone when they no longer have it or them, or they realize they are about to lose something precious and start to show that appreciation, but too late.
I was talking with a woman in Italy who was complaining that her husband was never affectionate enough, never really talked to her or gave her any attention. She was sad and lonely and wondering whether she should divorce him and take a chance on finding someone new. As I listened, and as I connected with her loved ones in the spirit world and with Grey Eagle I began to hear the other side of the story...her husband’s side.
It turned out that this lady had two dogs, her ‘babies’, as she called them, and all of her attention was focused on them, even to the detriment of her children. She would spend hours walking with them in the woods, playing with them, grooming them, and in the evenings she would sit with them on the sofa leaving no room for anyone else. When I pointed this out, she laughed and admitted that her ‘babies’ were her obsession.
To cut a long story short, I basically told her that the reason for her unhappiness was her own doing. How could her husband compete with her dogs? It was easy to see why she favored her dogs over him...in her mind, on a subconscious level, they would never let her down, but he might, despite the fact that they had been married almost twenty five years.
Now what would have happened, how would she have felt, if her husband had had a sudden heart attack and died? Remorse, guilt, anger, frustration, cheated...probably all these things and more. I know because I have seen it happen time and time again.
The remedy for her was simple. I suggested to her that she should treat her husband the same way she treated her dogs...with love and affection, valuing what he could give to her and showing appreciation for the fact that he had cared for and been loyal to her since before they were married. “Make room for him on the sofa and include him in your life” I told her, “before it’s too late”.
Our lesson this week is simple. Take a good look around at all the people in your life you love or care about and make a list. Then, as you go down the list and think about each person separately and individually, ask these next questions, and answer them as simply, honestly and truthfully as you can.
1) When was the last time I told him/her that I loved them and really meant it?
2) When did I last show him/her any affection without being asked to?
3) What was the last kind word I spoke to him/her?
4) When was the last kind word I spoke to him/her?
5) Does he/she really know how much I like/love them?
6) How sure am I of the answers to these questions?
7) How often do I take him/her for granted?
When you ask these questions and when you are searching for the answers, try not to bring in all the reasons you do or do not do the things you know you should. Try not to apportion blame, lack of time, lack of thought. Just answer the questions simply and then, when you have completed your list, ask yourself how and in what way you might show your appreciation more, how you might show more appropriately the value you place on having these people in your life on a daily basis.
When you have completed this exercise you might want to try the same questions and the same process with other things in your life, things like home, work, play, food, money, sleep, pets, books, reading, leisure time etc.
For so many people it is too little too late to give...to little appreciation, too little value, too little love, too little affection, too little time, too little commitment, too little communication, too little loyalty, too little compassion...
Don’t let it be too little too late for you!
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Good luck and be ready for next month's lesson...
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